Antsy

I have had many changes in my life over the past few weeks. To write them all down on paper would probably be rather therapeutic but will have to wait if I ever summon up the patience to type them. I'm in a total state of flux right now. No longer living in an independent apartment and no longer living with anybody. Both are things I hadn't foreseen in my future and neither were planned for. At some point in my life I would like to become the type of person who easily accepts change- even embrace it the moment it is happening. I, on the other hand, do not embrace change. If I have a "plan" in my future or even some remote concept of what my future is going to look like- then I DO NOT like when that is changed. Unless, of course, it is changed by me on my own accord and for my own reasons.

I have come to terms with the current changes mostly because I have no other option. Part of me is sick and tired of just putting up with it and part of me just doesn't know how to go about it any other way. I am looking at the glass empty- not even any water in it to say it's half empty. Not knowing what to do and not having any motivation to do it are battles that I'm facing at the moment.

Can someone give me some fire to light this sense of something inside me?

create post

to my most dar precious ones of all time. I have not written to you in for so long a that it is quite hard to think of what not to say. I have a beautiful time with y life at moments such as these when my fingers flow and I can feel the flow as they pass on through me. Never before have I been through such a feeling and exquisite awakens that I fear to tremble lest it awaken my soul will think. Have I ever asked it to call me back in the numerous years that I have rung at it's door? Have I not thrown pebbles up at it's window asking it to please dome on down from here and see my face? I believe I have and with my continued help and more uppity dear promise to tell you how it is. I haven't been keeping such good tavs on my mind for the past few hors and it has taken the way of green monkey guys riding a bicycle. I haven't really had a chance to ask it of what it is thinking and where it is coming from. does it feel as though it has been down this path before? If not then I imply it to seek it's shelter from the rain. The rain that holds you in and I hold you in my arms. Always there but never foreseen. It hasn't been proposed yet as to how or where it goes.

some reflections

She took hold of the end.

Had no idea where it would lead to but it ended up being the last lifeline she needed.

She opened her arms wide and fell into the liquid that comes only from the unknown.

Hers was a deep blue-green that tended to have a touch of yellow when dreams were achieved.

The solid ring on the outside was a pathway to be walked by many. No one journeyed there without permission, but permission was often granted without knowledge.

She knew the golden tipped bird help more than it told. One look was all it took to make her sea yellow again.

Sometimes it can be colorless and still come from the heart.

Times have come and gone without much of a thought, this must be corrected in order to see what truly has come.

Long Time No Talk

I could spend the first 500 words catching people up on my life thus far since last summer, but I think that would be rather redundant as I'm not sure anyone reads this who isn't already caught up on my life.

I'm drinking a gin and tonic and enjoying the sun in my sunroom in Uptown of Minneapolis, MN. I went to yoga today and bummed around that lake as I had the week off of work. This morning started at the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center in Roseville where I fed and cleaned the cages of about 20 squirrels. I have to get my wildlife fix in some how as it's looking like coons aren't on the agenda this summer unfortunately. If I had my rabies shot I would be able to work with them at this organization, but I don't have a spare $600 laying around to get it. So I'm feeding and catching squirrels as they escape. It's quite fun I must say!

I start my new nanny job on Monday with a 1-yr old boy named Hayden. Should be another good learning experience. I finished nannying for a family last week that I had been with since October. It's hard not to see Carmen (3) and Natalia (5) everyday anymore, but I will forever be connected with their family and I am ever grateful for that.

Next weekend one of my best friend's is getting married and I will be a bridesmaid for the first time! I am so excited as another best friend came back from France to be in in too. Lots of girl time is coming up and I can never get enough of that.

My sister has been living with me since the middle of April and I must say that is going swimmingly! I come home almost every night to a new home-cooked meal and it makes me feel quite spoiled :) I won't complain however. It's great to get to re-know each other and spend some good quality time talking, laughing, and doing nothing together. It's all good.

John is in Sussex, UK and has been since the beginning of April. He'll be gone another 40 days to be exact and I'm already getting antsy!! Hopefully not many more of these months apart will be in our future.

I have been enjoying corepower yoga for the past three months and have especially enjoying the change in my mind and body as I make sure to go enough to get my $$$ worth. I will be starting training for the minneapolis marathon on June 13th and will train for four months for that on October 3rd. Eeeks. I'm quite excited to knock this off my list of things to do before turning 25. Since I'm in the 25th year of life right now I figure I still made my goal :)

I have been fostering a cat for an organization called Pet Haven that rescues and re-homes dogs and cats. She's quite entertaining to have around and likes to play a rousing game of fetch with her mouse. I will be running in the minneapolis 5K9 run with a Pet haven dog and raising money for them. This organization really is the last chance for some animals as they get a lot of their dogs and cats from shelters where they have lived for most of their life and are on top to be euthanized.

The gin and tonic is making me sleepy and I need to organize my day tomorrow as for the night I will be attending the Minneapolis Institute of Arts night- not quite sure what to expect except to make a t-shirt :) Just like I'm back in 4th grade.

Summer So Far

I really can't believe how fast the summer has gone. I spent the first 6 weeks in Indianola caring for my four coons. Which are good, released and on their own now! And these next 5 weeks are spent back home in Boji. I leave in three weeks for vermont and new hampshire- then back to boji for my cousin's wedding and then on to my Alaksa trip to visit my good friend from college!! I am quite excited for that trip, not only to get to see the beauty that Alaska holds, but to get some good time with Victoria. We will have two weeks of good solid face to face conversation that has been much missed with us always being in different parts of the world.

I'm sitting in a coffee shop right now drinking an iced coffee and finishing off a cinnamon muffin while I contemplate how fast time really has gone. Indianola seems ages away and the feeling of tiny paws crawling all over me is starting to fade. I have been keeping busy while in boji with my old waitressing job and doing a fair amount of running and lifting. My body hadn't seen the inside of a gym since before Africa and it's soaking up those weight machines. I try to go running with my sister but her longer legs make for a fast stride which quickly gets me out of breath. I prefer my own pace and getting lost in my mind while I run.

The fall will put me up in the great state of Minnesota in the Minneapolis/St. Paul region and I am quite excited. I am hoping to get back into yoga and see if I can find a studio that will train me or at least pay attention to the fact that I taught yoga in college. Nothing beats the spiritual fulfillness I get from an hour long yoga session. Troubles, problems and stress seem to disappear or not have as big a hold on me when I'm practicing and getting regular meditation sessions. I would like to try and start meditating- perhaps one day soon I will start and blog about my experience.

I don't really have anything interesting to write about and maybe no one will even read this, but I would like to start some new journey in this life I'm living right now and keep a detailed account. It would be a practice in discipline to blog everyday- even if it's only a few words. Let's hope I put my hope into a real thing.

I'm working on living and thinking in the present because I realize how much of my life I have lived waiting for the next thing to come. I'm known for counting down the days until something good/big comes about, but then when it does- I count down the days until it's over- only not in the good exciting way but the sad way. So I really want to work on being present in my life now and not thinking I'm not living it the way I'm supposed to. I have no career, I am not married and I have no children- which 10 years ago that would be unspeakable by the time you're 24. I'm working on liking where I'm at and what I'm doing and not falling into society's pressures. And don't get me wrong- I AM happy and I AM satisified.

I also am looking into graduate school as hopefully the next step in my life, but I am proud to say that since I have graduated college in May of 2008 I have lived in many places: United Kingdom, South Africa, Swaziland, Mozambique, New York, Indianola and Okoboji of course and within a few months I can add Vermont, Alaska and living in Minneapolis. I wouldn't trade these experiences for a career in one place right out of college for anything. I'd say I've been pretty lucky and I'm pretty dang happy.

Me a momma!!

Long time since I've written and it feels odd knowing my words will once again be read by other people. But it's a good thing. The reason that has me actually starting up blogging again is that I have recently acquired four baby raccoons to raise once again. I believe I started my blogging journey talking about Gaben and Maple- the first two coons I raised last summer. Well I had no plans of being able to do that again, even though I so loved the experience and wanted to do it again, but found myself at Linda Nebbe's house last wednesday with an offer to take four coons back to Des Moines with me. I called John first before really deciding since we are staying at simpson college and I didn't know if it would work out- he said yes and volia they are here! it's been quite an adventure and lots of hard work so far (only three full days) but it has definitely been worth it. They just opened their eyes about a week ago and their ears opened a few days before that. They are fully aware of John and I as their new parents and I am ever thankful for John's help- I really couldn't do it without him. It is feeding time in 15 mins so I've got to go get their milk ready, but will write more about them asap!

Iphone fun

So I finally got a phone! I am trying to set up my phone so I can send
blogs directly through it- if that makes any sense. I will make calls
today that I did not make yesterday I'm sorry for that!!! My new phone
number is 1-(646)-808-9796. Xxx